Promises

It has happened to most of us – all of us, probably: your spouse, your friend, your boss or your workmate has promised one thing and then done another. 'So what', they must think, 'I changed my mind. My circumstances are different now and to honor my word would cause me hardship'. Rationalizing, they might feel tricked themselves – they might feel that you didn't keep your end of the bargain and so they have every right to protect themselves, from you. They might think that they have a right to change the rules midstream, because they, after all, made the rules in the first place. If you don't like it, you can just go away. No one is making you stay.

So what do you do when you are the recipient of such a miscommunication?

You can ignore it; you can pass it off as a misunderstanding, assuming that you misheard or have no memory or were just a victim of your own wishful thinking. But, if you do this, will you be sending them the message that they can walk all over you? Will they believe that they will not be held accountable for what they say to you? Will they lose all respect for you? Will you lose all respect for yourself? Will you become hardened and suspicious and untrusting?

Perhaps, you could try and have your way, despite them. You could trick them back, stealthily stealing what's rightfully yours, enjoying revenge or wrangling things to your favor, with your intellect and devious mind. But, if you did this, wouldn't you too, then become a dishonest person? Could your rationalizations and justifications be enough, to deem it alright? But, if you trick them back, won't you be just like them? If you steal what you feel is rightfully yours, won't you really, just be a thief? If you too, become unfaithful, can you ever like yourself, and if you continue this deception, will this scheming circle ever end?

Or, although, frightening, you could confront them. This would risk an embarrassing scene, risk rejection, and risk the future – the future which you thought held such promise. And, if you did this, would they admit their mistake and make it right or would they feign ignorance or perhaps even accuse you, of trying to abuse them? Maybe, they would simply turn their back and leave you hanging, empty handed? Is it worth such unpleasantness, just to prove you are right or to win the prize, however small, just because it was promised? Sometimes you wonder, if a friend would embarrass a friend, by even mentioning, such a thing? In the end, would you really have gotten anything you wanted and if you did, would it be worth it?

In Genesis 28:10 – 32:3, we hear the story of how Jacob worked seven years for the hand of Rachel just to be tricked in the end by Lavan, into marrying her sister Leah. Yet, after this deception, Jacob did not reject Leah, nor disgrace her. He simply took her as his wife and worked another seven years for Rachel. Fourteen years is a pretty long time for Jacob to wait and work for one, whom he knew in his heart, held no respect for him. Yet, the scripture tells us that the fourteen years went by quickly for Jacob. Perhaps it was only by having a forgiving heart and letting go of anger and releasing one's tormentor from guilt, that our heart can be light and our future, bright.